"L" Is For Listening

As always, I want to offer my sincere apology to Sue Grafton for using (stealing??) her approach for the titles of her many outstanding mystery novels for this series of articles that I hope makes YOU a happier and more effective leader working with a truly empowered team that really enjoys what they do! Oh, and if you have not read any of Ms. Grafton novels I highly recommend that you give her a try.

Listen First and Watch What YOU Say

“Words have special powers. The power to create smiles or frowns. The power to generate laughs or tears. The power to lift up or put down. The power to motivate or de-motivate. The power to teach good or evil. The power to express love or hate. The power to give or take. The power to heal or harm. Choose your words carefully.”

– A.D. Williams

As a Middle you will be judged by what you say by your Senior, your Teamers and Coworkers. I suggest that you avoid the following phrases that I always worked to stay away from.

“We” Versus “They” - I always tried to stay away from “they are doing this” or “they are doing that” since as a member of the Organization we are all in it together and should think of everyone as “we.” If I heard someone use “they” in a meeting, I always suggested that “they is really we” since we all work for the same Organization and hopefully have the same goals. Using “we” and “they” tends to foster separate thinking and battles over resources and power. I’ve had Seniors that actually created “we” and “they” thinking between teams to create a sort of checks-and- balances system in decision making. My experience is that “we” and “they” create more problems than they solve. Always use “we” in your communications.

Working for Me - I never like it when a Teamer said that “they worked for me.” It sounds too much like a “blue collar” and “white collar” working arrangement. I always suggested that the Teamer “works with me not for me” and it always seemed to improve our relationship and the trust that I had with each Teamer.

Thinking Outside the Box - Lots of people say this but I hate it. First off, don’t ever put yourself or your Teamers in the box.

Touch Base With You - “I’ll call you” or “write you” or “I’ll stop by and talk with you” is fine but please don’t “touch base” with me. That sounds like you are patting me on the head!

We’re In This Together!! – Oh, really? I usually heard this one from my Seniors and they didn’t really demonstrate that in their actions, so I tried never to use it with my Teamers.

We Can Make This Work - Oh really - again! We can’t make the project work if it is poorly defined, planned, staffed and monitored. Projects work because they are clearly defined, properly staff, managed well and corrected when needed.

I’m Just Doing My Job - “It’s nothing personal, I just have to let you go.” Perhaps you’ve heard this one too. There are times and situations when you just have to say “I’m not going to do that,” and try to stick to it with your Senior(s). There is always the right and wrong thing to do, and you need to live with yourself and your Teamers.

At The End of the Day – Again, I never really liked this one. Perhaps “bottom line” is better and I always wondered what was going to be different at one minute after midnight?

My simple suggestion is that you do more listening than talking and always think about and plan ahead what you are going to say before you open your mouth.

“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.”

Frank Tyger

I wish you empowerment, happiness and every success!!

Jonesy